MARCH 2

V. Marriage, Divorce, and Sexual Relations A. Marriage

 

Modern notions of proper marriage relations do not necessarily reflect the custom and laws of the Israelites. Most noticeable is the tacitly permitted practice of polygamy in the ancient law. In centuries to come most societies, both religious and secular, will generally disapprove of the practice.  Nothing is said in the Laws of Moses regarding any prerequisites for mar­riage, or regarding any required formalities. The marriage relationship is assumed to be permanent in nature and necessary for the establishment of cer­tain rights and for the legitimacy of sexual relations (and for having offspring therefrom). Only the following special laws relating to marriage are given.

 

MARRYING A CAPTIVE WOMAN. Deut. 21:10-14

When you go to war against your enemies and the lord your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives, if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.

 

FIRST-YEAR FREEDOM. Deut. 24:5

If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.

 

IF VIRGINITY DOUBTED. Deut. 22:13-21

 If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, "I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her vir­ginity," then the girl's father and mother shall bring proof that she was a virgin to the town elders at the gate. The girl's father will say to the elders, "I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. Now he has slandered her and said, T did not find your daughter to be a virgin.' But here is the proof of my daughter's virginity." Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, and the elders shall take the man and punish him. They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver" and give them to the girl's father, because this man has given an Israelite vir­gin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives.

If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you.

 

B. Divorce

 

Although scholars have long debated whether the Laws of Moses permit divorce for seemingly any cause, unlike in other nations the Israelites are at least taught the seriousness and finality of a dissolved marriage. Later Scripture indicates that any ease of divorce under the Laws of Moses may be merely a concession on God's part at this time.

 

FINALITY OF DIVORCE Deut.24:1-4.

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

 

C. Sexual Violations

1. Introduction

 

CONTRAST WITH PAGANS Lev. 18:1-5. The lord said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'I am the lord your God. You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their prac­tices. You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the lord your God. Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them will live by them. I am the lord.

 

2. Adultery

At the heart of the marriage relationship is the idea of faithfulness to the vows of commitment. Faithfulness is important both in marriage and in the people's relationship with God. Their unfaithfulness to God is considered spir­itual adultery. Breach of the marriage vow by sexual relations with a person other than one's spouse is so serious that it is prohibited by one of the ten basic commandments.

 

ADULTERY PROHIBITED Deut. 5:18     .    "You shall not commit adultery.

LAW AGAINST ADULTERY Lev. 18:20.

 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor's wife and defile yourself with her.

 

PENALTY FOR ADULTERY Lev. 20:10

If a man is found sleeping with another Deut. man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel.

 

ADULTERY WITH ONE BETROTHED Deut.22:23,24  

If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death—the girl

because she was in a town and did not scream for help, and the man because he violated another man's wife. You must purge the evil from among you.

 

WHERE BETROTHED IS SLAVE. Lev.19:20-22.

 " 'If a man sleeps with a woman who is a slave girl promised to another man but who has not been ransomed or given her freedom, there must be due punishment. Yet they are not to be put to death, because she had not been freed. The man, however, must bring a ram to the entrance to the Tent of Meeting for a guilt offering to the lord. With the ram of the guilt offering the priest is to make atonement for him before the lord for the sin he has committed, and his sin will be forgiven.

 

TEST OF ADULTERY. Num. 5:11-31

Then the lord said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'If a man's wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him by sleeping with another man, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act), and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jeal­ous and suspects her even though she is not impure—then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah0 of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder offering to draw attention to guilt.

 

" 'The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the lord. Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tab­ernacle floor into the water. After the priest has had the woman stand before the lord, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse. Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, "If no other man has slept with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have defiled yourself by sleeping with a man other than your husband"— here the priest is to put the woman under this curse of the oath— "may the lord cause your people to curse and denounce you when he causes your thigh to waste away and your abdomen to swell.1" May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells and your thigh wastes away"

 

" 'Then the woman is to say, "Amen. So be it."

" 'The priest is to write these curses on a scroll and then wash them off into the bitter water. He shall have the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water will enter her and cause bitter suffering. The priest is to take from her hands the grain offering for jealousy, wave it before the lord and bring it to the altar. The priest is then to take a hand­ful of the grain offering as a memorial offering and burn it on the altar; after that, he is to have the woman drink the water. If she has defiled her­self and been unfaithful to her husband, then when she is made to drink the water that brings a curse, it will go into her and cause bitter suffering; her abdomen will swell and her thigh waste away, and she will become accursed among her people. If, however, the woman has not defiled her­self and is free from impurity, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children.

" 'This, then, is the law of jealousy when a woman goes astray and defiles herself while married to her husband, or when feelings of jealousy come over a man because he suspects his wife. The priest is to have her stand before the lord and is to apply this entire law to her. The husband will be innocent of any wrongdoing, but the woman will bear the conse­quences of her sin.'"

 

3. Fornication

 

Sexual relations between unmarried persons may result in certain adverse consequences. As noted previously, the woman's lack of virginity at the time of marriage can subject her to punishment. (See Deut. 22:13-21.)

 

4. Prostitution

Prohibition of sexual relations given in exchange for money concerns not only the unapproved sexual activity itself, but also forbidden participation in pagan cult worship, in which prostitution by both men and women is commonplace.

 

EVIL OF PROSTITUTION Lev. 19:29.

" 'Do not degrade your daughter by making her a prostitute, or the land will turn to prostitution and be filled with wickedness.

 

NO CULT PROSTITUTION Deut.23:17,18 

No Israelite man or woman is to become a shrine prostitute. You must not bring the earnings of a female prostitute or of a male prostitute  into the house of the lord your God to pay any vow, because the lord your God detests them both.

 

5. Incest

 

Sexual activity between blood relatives and other near relatives is prohibited.  This is therefore the formal end of the early period during which extremely close relatives married each other, presumably for more rapid propagation of the human family.

 

PARENTS Lev. 18:6-8  [deut.22:30]

" 'No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the lord.

" 'Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.

" 'Do not have sexual relations with your father's wife; that would dishonor your father.

 

PENALTY Lev. 20:11

" 'If a man sleeps with his father's wife, he has dishonored his father. Both the man and the woman must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

 

SISTER. Lev. 18:9

" 'Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.

 

HALF-SISTER. Lev. 18:11

  " 'Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father's wife, born to your father; she is your sister.

 

PENALTY Lev. 20:17.

 " 'If a man marries his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, and they have sexual relations, it is a disgrace. They must be cut off before the eyes of their people. He has dishonored his sister and will be held responsible.

 

GRANDDAUGHTER. Lev. 18:10

" 'Do not have sexual relations with your son's daughter or your daughter's daughter; that would dishonor you.

 

AUNT OR UNCLE. Lev. 18:12-14

" 'Do not have sexual relations with your father's sister; she is your father's close relative.

" 'Do not have sexual relations with your mother's sister, because she is your mother's close relative.

" 'Do not dishonor your father's brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.

 

PENALTY. Lev. 20:19,20

" 'Do not have sexual relations with the sister of either your mother or your father, for that would dishonor a close relative; both of you would be held responsible.

" 'If a man sleeps with his aunt, he has dishonored his uncle. They will be held responsible; they will die childless.

 

DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. Lev. 18:15

" 'Do not have sexual relations with your daugh­ter-in-law. She is your son's wife; do not have relations with her.

 

PENALTY. Lev. 20:12

" 'If a man sleeps with his father's wife, he has dishonored his father. Both the man and the woman must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

 

SISTER-IN-LAW. Lev. 18:16

" 'Do not have sexual relations with your brother's wife; that would dishonor your brother.

 

PENALTY. Lev. 20:21

" 'If a man marries his brother's wife, it is an act of impurity; he has dishonored his brother. They will be childless.

 

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER. Lev. 18:17

" 'Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness.

PENALTY. Lev. 20:14

" 'If a man marries both a woman and her mother, it is wicked. Both he and they must be burned in the fire, so that no wicked­ness will be among you.

 

TWO SISTERS. Lev. 18:18

" 'Do not take your wife's sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.

 

6. Violation of Uncleanness

 

Because a woman is considered ceremonially unclean during her menstru­al period, sexual relations during that time are prohibited.

 

MENSTRUAL INTERCOURSE.  Lev.18:19.

" 'Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.

 

PENALTY.   Lev. 20:18

 " 'If a man lies with a woman during her monthly period and     has sexual relations with her, he has exposed the source of her flow, and she has also uncovered it. Both of them must be cut off from their people.

 

7. Homosexual Practices

 

HOMOSEXUAL CONDUCT PROHIBITED Lev. 18:22.  

" 'Do not lie with a man as     one lies with a woman; that is detestable.

 

PENALTY Lev. 20:13.  

 " 'If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of     them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

 

8. Bestiality

 

BESTIALITY PROHIBITED. Lev. 18:23

" 'Do not have sexual relations with an ani­mal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.

 

PENALTY. Lev.20:15,16 [Ex. 22:19 ]

" 'If a man has sexual relations with an animal, he must be put to death, and you must kill the animal.

" 'If a woman approaches an animal to have sexual relations with it, kill both the woman and the animal. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

 

9. Conclusion

WARNING ABOUT SEXUAL SINS. Lev.18:14-30 [20:22,23]

 " 'Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the aliens living among you must not do any of these detestable things, for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled. And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you.

" 'Everyone who does any of these detestable things — such persons must be cut off from their people. Keep my requirements and do not fol­low any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you came and do not defile yourselves with them. 1 am the LORD your God.'"

 

PEOPLE TO BE SEPARATE, Lev.20:24

 But I said to you, "You will possess their land; I will give it to you as an inheritance, a land flowing with milk and honey." I am the lord your God, who has set you apart from the nations.

 

D. Separation of Sexes

 

CLOTHES OF OPPOSITE SEX.  Deut.22:5

A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the lord your God detests anyone who does this.